


Reflex

by stewardess



Category: Firefly/Serenity
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-18
Updated: 2005-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-12 05:56:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/121564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stewardess/pseuds/stewardess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne is so predictable. Takes place after <em>Heart of Gold</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflex

**Author's Note:**

> Firefly fans know there are interesting dynamics between all of the characters on the show: Kaylee and the Shepherd, Kaylee and Inara, Mal and Inara, Zoe and Wash. But what interests me the most is the relationship between River and Simon and Jayne. It's reminiscent of Sam, Frodo, and Boromir: Simon the devoted protector, River burdened with a potent weapon [herself], Jayne the protector/betrayer. I think I know how the story ends.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fanfiction](http://community.livejournal.com/stewardess_fics/tag/fanfiction), [firefly](http://community.livejournal.com/stewardess_fics/tag/firefly), [jayne/simon/river](http://community.livejournal.com/stewardess_fics/tag/jayne%2Fsimon%2Friver)  
  
  
---|---  
  
  
Title: Reflex  
Author: [](http://stewardess.livejournal.com/profile)[**stewardess**](http://stewardess.livejournal.com/)  
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity  
Pairing: Jayne/Simon/River  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: Jayne is so predictable. Takes place after _Heart of Gold_.  
Warnings: Het. Incest. Jayne grammar.  
Beta by [](http://perseph2hades.livejournal.com/profile)[**perseph2hades**](http://perseph2hades.livejournal.com/)!

**Reflex**

"You know what these are, Jayne?" Simon's hand was full of glossy pink pills.

Jayne folded his arms across his chest and looked warily down at the doc.

"Sildenafil Citrate," Simon said. "You might know them better by their slang name, Rockets."

Jayne made a grab for the pills, but Simon had closed his fist around them.

"How much you want for them?" Jayne asked.

In sixteen hours, they were docking on a planet with a population large enough to support hundreds of brothels. A pill that gave a man a two-hour erection was just what he needed. It had been months since they had gone to the aid of Inara's whore friends. He was as tired of his hand as a man could be.

"Got any platinum?" Simon said.

Jayne called the doc a baboon's ass-crack.

"Just kidding," Simon said. "You can have them for free. They were part of our haul on Ariel, but there's not enough to deal." Simon opened his hand. "Here's six. Take one two hours before—whatever it is that you do. Don't take more than one in a 12-hour period. I'm serious. You could hurt yourself."

"It won't be me that's going to be hurting," Jayne said, grinning. He grabbed the pills and stuffed them in a pocket.

Simon grimaced. "Of course. These are for women, by the way, but chemically they aren't any different from the ones for men. Just the color and shape. The men's are blue and shaped like rockets. What a surprise."

"They're for girls?" Jayne was horrified.

"There's less of a difference between male and female genitalia than you think. Women can even ejaculate."

"Not around me, they don't!"

***

It was dark, and there was someone making noise in Jayne's cabin.

When it was dark, it was supposed to be quiet so that he could sleep. He wasn't sleeping, but that didn't matter. He shouldn't be hearing anything but Serenity purring, dishes clattering in the galley, and the thumping of boots on the gangways.

With one hand, Jayne groped behind the curtain that concealed his weapons. His fingers touched Vera's stock, but she would be overkill here. He found an auto pistol, something he could conceal under the sheet.

Which was a tent at the moment. The Rockets were working real good.

"Jayne?" Simon whispered in the dark.

"What the—get out of here!" Jayne said. "I'm busy. I mean I'm asleep."

"I'm sure you are. I knew you'd take them right away. How many?"

"None of your business!"

He had thought taking a pill would make him hard, but it hadn't. So he had taken more. Finally he had tried giving himself a helping hand. That had been two hours earlier. Life was good.

"You're wasting them. We won't be docking for twelve hours. A pill wears off in four."

"It don't matter. I don't need these damn pills, anyhow."

"I doubt that. I bet you're a two-minute man. In and out and then you fall asleep on top of whatever unfortunate woman is under you."

"So what? I pay for it," Jayne said. The doc could be gorram ignorant sometimes. He'd had a plush life until he'd become a fugitive with his scary sister—

"Where's River?" Jayne asked suspiciously.

Simon laughed and sat on the edge of the bunk. "She's close. Very close."

"Doc. This ain't right. This is _my_ bunk. _My_ cabin."

"But I'm a doctor, and you need medical attention." A dim light came on. Simon was wearing only light blue pants, no shirt. His skin was pale and smooth. Simon smirked at him. "You're a novelty, Jayne."

Jayne looked down at the sheet. With the gun, it looked like he had two peckers under there. He stuffed the gun back in its cubby behind the curtain. The gun was useless to him, anyway; the doc was going to bore him to death. There was no cure for that but unconsciousness.

Jayne sighed and laid flat on his bunk. What a gorram waste of the Rockets. He still had two left for the whorehouses, though. In ten hours, he ought to be able to take more, right?

"Jayne, your penis is going to fall off."

"Yeah, right." Jayne closed his eyes. "You wouldn't let my man parts come to harm, doc."

"If you took two, you'll have an erection that could last as long as six hours. That will cause serious discomfort—even for you—but it won't harm you. If you took three, your erection could last eight, ten hours. That _will_ cause damage. Permanent damage. Because your blood can't circulate. The tissues will die because they'll be starved of oxygen."

Jayne felt a twinge of worry. This was his pecker the doc was talking about. Something important. He opened his eyes and looked at the doc. "What if I took four?" It was the doc's fault for not telling him how they worked.

"Unless I give you Rizatriptan to restrict your blood vessels, you're humped."

"Fine, then. Come back with some in a couple of hours."

"Can't. If Rizatriptan doesn't work, I'll have to take more drastic measures, and I'll need time for that."

"Why'd you give me the gorram pills, anyway!"

"Because I knew you'd take too many. You'd better start listening to me."

"No, thanks," Jayne said, reaching behind the curtain.

"It wouldn't be a good idea to shoot me," Simon said. "Not if you want to have a penis eight hours from now."

"Hump you, and your crazy sister, too!" Jayne bellowed.

"That's just what you'll be doing. If you want the Rizatriptan."

***

"You want me to hump you and your sister? That's crazy. She could find plenty of those who are willing as soon as we dock. You, I'm not so sure about."

"Jayne. Think, for once. Her image has been circulated in hundreds of galaxies. Mine, too. Who knows when either of us can get off this ship?"

"Yeah," Jayne said. "I guess—"

"So you agree. She's curious about sex, and she is going to have to indulge her curiosity here on Serenity. And who else could she choose but you?"

"Good point," Jayne said. "I'm the only man onboard who'd do it. I don't have any of those morals."

"Exactly."

"But why are you part of the deal?"

"You want me to leave you alone with her?"

"Hell, no!"

"Then I'll stay."

"You stay over there, then," Jayne said, pointing at the far side of the cabin. "And keep your pants on. I ain't sly."

There was a snort of disbelief in the dimness. Jayne grabbed Vera and aimed her around the room. Finally he saw River crouched at the foot of the ladder. When the hell had she come in? Damn the girl for creeping up on folks!

"If you mean you do not commit homosexual acts, that isn't true. River told me you once had sex with a man for money."

"You had sex with cows, too," River said. "For free."

"They were girl cows!" Jayne protested.

"The point is, you aren't picky, Jayne. You don't care where it goes as long as it's wet and warm." Simon looked smug. "Both of us, or you don't get the antidote."

Wet and warm. That about summed it up, Jayne admitted. He put Vera away. "All right. But you have to pay me." If they paid him, then it was just another job.

Simon looked outraged. "You still owe _us_."

Damn the doc for bringing up Ariel. Jayne shouldn't have saved their lives there. It had just been a reflex. That was his problem. His reflexes always got in the way before a thought had a chance.

"We should pay him, Simon," River said.

Simon looked unconvinced.

"You have more of these Rockets?" Jayne said. "Give me all you have, and we'll be square."

"Done," Simon said after a pause. "Come to our cabin. It's clean."

"I can't go walking around like this!"

"So tape it down."

***

Five minutes after the brother and sister left him, Jayne pulled on his loosest, softest pants. His pecker didn't exactly hurt yet, but he could tell it would in a few hours. It would feel like when he forgot to put his hat on and his ears froze in the wind. He hated having cold ears.

Why was he doing what the Tams wanted? Because he didn't have a choice. It wasn't just that he needed the antidote. When you saved someone's life, you owned them. But if you tried to sell someone out and failed, then they owned you.

When he got to their adjoining cabins, he could see they had made preparations, maybe borrowed stuff off Inara. That worried him. He didn't want any of the crew knowing what he was doing, how Simon had tricked him especially. The whole thing made him look like an idiot.

There was incense and candles burning, and slippery-looking fabric over pillows on the floor. Simon was sitting on one of the beds. River was already lying on the floor pillows, dressed only in a silver robe she must have gotten from Inara. She looked good in it, but then she looked good in anything. Or nothing. She might be crazy, but she was a looker. And she moved fast and sure. Nothing clumsy about her.

She also didn't have the sense to be shy. As soon as he slid the door shut behind him, she pulled the robe open and spread her legs, her knees bent. As if that was all the encouragement he needed.

It was. He had an abrupt change of plan. He shucked his pants and dropped to the floor and crawled to her and took a deep sniff. What he liked best about women was that they were soft and smooth, and this was the softest, smoothest part of a woman. It wasn't something he could do most of the time. Usually he had to keep one leg in his pants, one hand on his gun, while lying on his back and facing a door. He'd never had the luxury of humping in Serenity.

After a couple of preliminary licks to River's thighs, he got down to business. He could do this all day. But he kind of hoped he wouldn't have to. He had his own needs to be attended to.

He was licking air half the time, she was thrashing so much. Then she settled down and he peeked up over her belly to see that Simon was holding her hands, their fingers intertwined. She was smiling at Simon like he was the shiniest thing she had ever seen. It made her prettier. More than prettier.

He paused for a moment to tease her thighs with his beard. Then he reached up and covered her breasts with his hands, her hard nipples poking his palms until he guided Simon's hands to her. He could tell she wanted him to. Simon started kissing her. After that it was all he could do to breathe and keep up.

He was just getting his second wind and feeling like he could go on for hours when she let out a long cry and then twisted away from him.

She was dazed and trembling. Simon was flushed and crazy looking.

Jayne laughed. "Which of you do I fuck first?"

"Can't use latex. It scares her. And we can't mix flora and fauna. So River first."

He had never heard of those broads, but they didn't matter, it was just the doctor babbling. Then he froze. "No raincoats?" He had never even kissed a girl on the mouth; he was that paranoid.

Simon showed his teeth. "I've had plenty of opportunities to test your blood, Jayne. Even with the zoophilia, you're clean. In fact, genetically speaking, you're quite a prize. Reflexes in the top two percent, better than perfect vision, no hereditary diseases such as diabetes or hypertension."

Jayne pulled River under him but Simon stopped him. "River should be on top. It will hurt less."

So the Alliance hadn't done that to her. She was still a virgin. He rolled on his back, disappointed. With her on top, he might as well hold a gun and watch the door.

She got on him and pushed down. But, in spite of her wetness, it wasn't working. She wasn't using enough force, so she was bouncing right off. But she didn't know that, she thought they were fucking. She wouldn't know he wasn't going in all the way because nothing that big had ever gone in that far.

What he could tell from her face was that it was painful. Stretch a bit of flesh over and over and it got damn sore.

He grabbed her waist to stop her moving. "She needs help. I should be on top." The doc's way of talking about his sister as if she wasn't there had rubbed off on him.

Jayne flipped them both over before the doc could object. One thrust and he was all the way in. River looked surprised, then relieved. Schooling couldn't prepare you for everything. Or anything. Some things you just had to feel.

 _Damn_ but it was good. She was a gorgeous genius rich girl, and he had her writhing on the ground. When she clamped him with those strong, long thighs of hers, he nearly shot off right then. A part of him was saying _This is the best fuck you'll ever have, pay attention!_ but a bigger part, a harder, throbbing part, was telling him that thinking was the last thing he should be bothering with.

Remembering Simon's two-minute jab, it was twenty minutes before he went off, and he made sure to roll away fast so as not to crush her. Good thing he did. He was out like a light before he stopped moving.

***

"Jayne? Jayne!"

Jayne opened his eyes to see River and Simon leaning over him. What was he doing lying on the floor on a heap of pillows? Oh. Right. He was on a job. Shouldn't pass out in the middle of a job. Wasn't professional.

But he didn't want to move. He was too comfortable, lying completely naked next to two other completely naked bodies. Who knew if he'd live long enough to do this again?

"It's Simon's turn," River said, reaching down and stroking Jayne's sweaty forehead. She had the strangeness she had sometimes, as if it was her that kept them all safe, not the other way around. Sometimes he had nightmares where she came and rescued him from—he never remembered what.

"Simon wasn't part of the deal." Jayne couldn't resist haggling a little. He got a good chuckle out of Simon's expression.

"Please," River said.

There it was, that irritating tug. He had to do what she said.

Simon looked like he was getting cold feet. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I don't care."

"Shut up and come here," Jayne said. This time, he'd lie on his back and not complain. He was bushwhacked, but he managed another chuckle. "I always knew you were fluff."

"You had sex with a man before, so what are you?" Simon sounded as cranky as a baby.

"At the time what I was, was hungry," Jayne said. "It was business."

And a damned good business, for a while. Why, if she could read his mind, had River told Simon that he had done it only the once? It didn't make no sense.

"Go on," River said encouragingly to Simon, as if he had miles to go and wasn't already half lying on Jayne.

"Yeah, come here and take your medicine," Jayne said. He was enjoying teasing Simon almost as much as the sex.

The doc thought he was stupid. Compared to the doc, he was. The doc was smarter than all of them, except for River. But he knew stuff maybe even the doc didn't know. If he hadn't eaten all those Rockets and agreed to the plan, would Simon have let all the candles and incense go to waste? He didn't think so. A man didn't go to all that trouble for nothing.

River was still acting like their mommy. "It's nice, Simon."

"I've done it before," Simon snapped at her.

"Sure you have," Jayne said.

Simon was scared. Up to now he had been a bystander. A busy bystander, but still a bystander. He was afraid of letting loose in front of River. Cause who knew what might happen? So Jayne might as well get the boy over his worst fear.

"I don't care if you fuck your sister," Jayne said.

River laughed. Simon went even whiter than he usually was.

Jayne was exasperated. He was the one who'd been stuck with a five hour hard-on. "River. Help me."

He shoved Simon around until the doc was between him and River and they were lying on their sides.

"Don't worry," Jayne said, fumbling with lube, his pecker, and Simon's ass. "I'm a pro at this. I got paid once, remember?"

The worrying ended when River wrapped her legs around both of them.

***

It didn't stop after that, but went on in endless three-person combinations springing from River's imagination. After a really freaky one, Simon said, "This isn't Trig Six, River."

The brother and sister started giggling at that, so Jayne grabbed a brief nap. When he woke up, he was still hard.

"Doc, aren't I going to blow up or something?"

"Did I say that? I might have exaggerated."

"But I need to take a piss. And I can't."

Simon sighed and looked for his pants. "I should give you the antidote in your bunk. It might make you lightheaded."

In that case, Jayne thought, he would likely pass out. That was all right. He had to get some rest before they docked. He wasn't going to miss out on the brothels, damn it. Though he had to admit they didn't have quite the appeal they'd had a few hours earlier.

With River and Simon following him, he slid down the ladder into his cabin and collapsed on his bunk.

"Open your mouth," Simon said.

Jayne stuck his tongue out. Simon put a single drop on it from a tiny bottle.

"That's it?" Jayne said, disappointed. It seemed an awful lot of grappling for something so small.

"Let's hope so. I'll check you in two hours, give you more if needed."

"Wait. What about my Rockets?" Always get paid at the end of a job, before the other guy forgot he owed you. That was his rule.

"Oh. I don't have any more. I only had six."

"You backdrift bastard!" Jayne would have throttled him, but the threatened lightheadedness had started kicking his ass.

"The deal was that I give you all I had. I did that." Simon handed him a basin. "Didn't you say you needed to take a piss?"

"I can't do it lying down."

"Girls can."

It was messy, but he managed it. Simon cleaned him up after, all business, his eyes not looking at anything.

"Jayne," Simon said quietly. "Thanks for kissing her. On the mouth."

"Oh. Yeah. I figured it was safe."

"The captain is sure to start a bar brawl, so I'll be sewing you all up in a few hours." Simon yawned. "This fluff has to sleep." He went up the ladder.

River startled Jayne when she spoke. He had forgotten she was there, she had been so quiet.

"Since my brother doesn't have more Sildenafil Citrate, we are in your debt now," she said.

Jayne thought it over. "Yeah. That's good."

He watched her go up the ladder like a cat. She turned and looked at him. _You'd die for me._ Then she was gone from his sight.

Damn that girl for saying shit in people's heads! If she believed that, it was the final proof that she was crazy. He was never going to die for anyone. It wasn't good business. Still, if the Alliance tried to take River and Simon, he'd fight. Had to.

Damn reflexes.

 _  
**Reflex. Firefly/Serenity. Jayne/Simon/River. NC-17**   
_

* * *

The End.

Author's Note: Firefly fans know there are interesting dynamics between all of the characters on the show: Kaylee and the Shepherd, Kaylee and Inara, Mal and Inara, Zoe and Wash. But what interests me the most is the relationship between River and Simon and Jayne. It's reminiscent of Sam, Frodo, and Boromir: Simon the devoted protector, River burdened with a potent weapon [herself], Jayne the protector/betrayer. I think I know how the story ends.

**Author's Note:**

> Import format test.


End file.
